When a member of your student organization discloses that they have experienced sexual harassment, dating/domestic violence, stalking, or sexual assault, it's crucial to respond effectively and compassionately. Using the Listen, Support, Refer framework, you can provide the necessary support while respecting their autonomy and privacy.

Listen

First and foremost, be present and patient. Allow them to share their experience at their own pace without interrupting or pressing for details. It's important to stay nonjudgmental and avoid questioning their actions or decisions. Validate their experience by saying things like, "Thank you for trusting me," or "I’m here for you." Respect their boundaries, as they may not want to share everything, and that’s okay. Additionally, avoid gossip and keep the conversation private unless they give permission to share with someone else.

Try...

  • Thank you for trusting me with this.
  • I’m here for you, and I believe you.
  • You don’t have to share everything if you’re not comfortable.

Support

Empower them to make their own choices about what to do next, rather than directing them. Affirm their strength by reminding them that it’s not their fault and they’re not alone. Stay consistent by checking in periodically, even if they don’t want to talk right away. Be mindful of your role as a peer, not a counselor—your job is to support, not solve.

Try...

  • How are you feeling?
  • What do you think would be helpful for you right now?
  • Whatever you choose to do, I’m here to support you.

Refer

Know your resources and be ready to share campus and community support options, such as the Office of Civil Rights Compliance, University Counseling Center, and confidential advocates. Offer help by saying, 'Would you like help finding someone to talk to?' Follow up and let them know you’re there for them, even if they decide not to access these options immediately. Use your network and reach out to a trusted advisor or staff member for guidance if you’re unsure how to help, without breaking confidentiality.

Try...

  • Would you like help finding someone to talk to?
  • There are people on and off campus who can help you through this.
  • If you want to report, there are several options.